grapefruit and vanilla bean

I would change only one thing about this recipe. It has you blend all the center part of the grapefruit but I would go one step further and remove the segments between the grapefruit as after the jam has aged it got bitter I think due to the membranes.

Ingredients

• 5-6 large pink grapefruits, about 5-6 pounds, you can also use Ruby Red grapefruit

• 1 1/2 cups sugar (or more to taste)

• 2 vanilla beans

Instructions

1. Remove the rind from the grapefruits. Thickly slice the fruit and then cut or break apart into pieces. Discard any seeds. (Again I’d take the time to get rid of the membranes between each segment, do this over a pot so you catch any escaping juices)

2. Puree the fruit in a food processor or blender, and then pour it into a pot, along with the sugar.

3. Cut the vanilla beans in half and then make a slit down the length of each piece. Pry the beans open with the tip of your knife and scrape out the seeds, adding them to the pot with the grapefruit. Throw the pods right in, too.

4. Bring the pot up to a boil, then turn down and boil for about 40-50 minutes. You won't have to tend it much at first, but toward the end, you'll need to keep an eye on it and stir often to prevent scorching. It will be greatly reduced, darker, and thicker at about the 40-minute mark. The longer you boil it the thicker the jam will be, but I found about 45 minutes was sufficient. Remove the vanilla bean pods and discard. Ideally, you want to bring the jam up to around 220 to get a good set in the jam. If you don’t have a candy thermometer use a timer and a cold spoon to test jams thickness.

5. Pour the hot jam into hot sterilized jam jars add lids and place upside down to seal. If you are making refrigerator jam let cool before covering and refrigerating and use within 2 months, or freeze.

The Story

We are going to skip around in this series because why bother with linear time when you are telling stories.

This jam found me at a really hard time in life. I was deep into radiation therapy for breast cancer and was exhausted, totally vulnerable and crying almost all the time I was alone.

I was beyond tired-the kind of tired small children get when they refuse to sleep and just cry and cry. My breast was red, felt like beef jerky and was breaking out in heat sores, and I was in so much pain but refusing to really acknowledge everything that was happening. There are times in your life when you just have to get through a thing before you can really look back and see and feel all of the emotions, fears, and pain that were occurring. You just have to fucking push the giant bolder up the giant fucking hill.

To cope with things I couldn’t yet process I was watching a lot of British Baking and other food-related shows on Netflix. I didn’t have a ton of energy to be baking or cooking up feasts but I was deeply interested in exploring more how food heals and soothes and comforts and changes things. So while I couldn’t really cook myself yet I could enjoy and observe. And more to the point I was taking notes in my brain about what flavors or combinations intrigued me.

In February of 2019, we got snowed in for 11 days and I happen to have an overabundance of grapefruit. I promptly went to the magical land of images on pinterest and found a variation of this recipe.

It added just the right amount of sweetness to a life that felt so deprived of sweet. It added a bright pop of color to dark Seattle winter days. The slight tartness of the grapefruit contrasted perfectly with the sweet and the exotic hint of vanilla kicked it all up to 11.

This jam started a fascination with alternate combinations in flavor profiles of food. Playing with sweet and tart, or sweet and savory to create something deep, meaningful and comforting. the tiny flecks of vanilla bean are a visual delight suspended in sunset pink.

One of my greatest comforts during healing was midnight toast. From my first surgery in October until today a year and a half later there are days when things are hard and sleep is elusive the only thing that calls to me is a piece of well butter toast, a plop of jam and a cup of tea. Then I can face sleep and from there I can face whatever the world throws in my path.

Jam can heal. And so can you. Whatever demons lie in wait, they can be distracted with tiny rituals of self-care which may or may not involve some delicious jam.

Tasting Ideas

On buttered toast, crumpet or biscuit add a dab or a scoop

Over yogurt or ice cream

Plop a jar of it on a goat cheese log and bring out the crackers

Bake it with Brie and maybe some nuts

As a filling for a trifle or between layers of a cake or in the center of cupcakes

Thin it down into a simple syrup and add vodka or sparkling water

Use as a fruit salad dressing, mix with yogurt or juice and drizzle on fruit

*also pictured in picture 2 is apple pie jam which is coming next